Origin Stories: Dad Part 1

This will probably be the first of many origin stories about my dad. He had a huge influence on my life and work. I thought this origin story should begin and the beginning. My dad was the ultimate “girl dad” before that phrase came into popular usage.

From the time I was a little kid he reinforced to me that I was smart and capable. Probably without intending to do so, he made sure that I knew that being a girl was no limitation. He also let me like “boy things” without trying to persuade me not to like those things. Here is where the John Havlicek shoes come in. My dad was a big basketball fan. In addition to the hometown team of the Trailblazers, he liked the Celtics. I watched games with him when I was little, and around age 8, I noticed some of the boys in my class had John Havlicek tennis shoes and I wanted them. My dad said yes, and took me to the Sears shoe department. The salesman said these were boys’ shoes and tried to show us the “girl shoes.” My dad, who was a pretty intimidating guy, said, “No, she wants these shoes, and shoes are shoes, so measure her feet and get her the shoes.”

I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was a powerful lesson that I absorbed that day - I didn’t need to be confined to how the outside world defined me. I could also stand up for myself and refuse to accept something less or different because I was a girl.

He wasn’t trying to make me a substitute son or anything like that. I liked plenty of girls things too and I was not a tomboy. I was crazy about Barbies, so he got me the fanciest Barbie townhome (with an elevator!) but he also gave me Matchbox cars, that I collected in a shoebox.

I was so fortunate to have someone in my formative years who showed me I was smart, and capable and that being a girl didn’t need to be a limitation, and not only that, if someone tried to make being a girl a limitation, you could say no, that’s not what I will settle for.